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Doctor Jokes

# Title Hits Rating
1 What should I do then?
- |Patient: Doctor, what should I do if my temperature goes up five more points?Doctor: Sell!...Read the whole joke
517 Rating:0 | Voted:0
2 Is she feeling any better?
- |Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night?Nurse: No change...Read the whole joke
531 Rating:0 | Voted:0
3 I have good news and bad news
- |Patient: I'm in a hospital! Why am I in here?Doctor: You've had an accident involving a bus.Patient...Read the whole joke
672 Rating:0 | Voted:0
4 Doctor's Notes 8
- A new, young MD doing his residency in OB was quite embarrassed performing female pelvic exams. To c...Read the whole joke
495 Rating:0 | Voted:0
5 Doctor's Notes 7
- A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room, when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk ro...Read the whole joke
587 Rating:0 | Voted:0
6 Doctor's Notes 6
- I was caring for a woman and asked, "So how's your breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except ...Read the whole joke
528 Rating:0 | Voted:0
7 Doctor's Notes 5
- While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long have you been bedridden?" Af...Read the whole joke
461 Rating:0 | Voted:0
8 Doctor's Notes 4
- I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test. I placed the patient twenty ...Read the whole joke
523 Rating:0 | Voted:0
9 Doctor's Notes 3
- One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive...Read the whole joke
508 Rating:0 | Voted:0
10 Doctor's Notes 2
- At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's...Read the whole joke
561 Rating:0 | Voted:0
11 Doctor's Notes 1
- A man comes into the ER and yells; "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff...Read the whole joke
497 Rating:0 | Voted:0
12 Why did the nurse go to art school?
- Why did the nurse go to art school?Answer: To learn how to draw blood!...Read the whole joke
469 Rating:0 | Voted:0
13 College
- It is recounted that at King?s College in the Strand around the time of the war, the Chief of Servic...Read the whole joke
507 Rating:0 | Voted:0
14 Jelly
- I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked, "So how?s your breakfast this morning?" "It?s very...Read the whole joke
617 Rating:0 | Voted:0
15 Birth Control
- An elderly woman went into the doctor?s office. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied...Read the whole joke
492 Rating:0 | Voted:0
16 Deodorant
- A customer walks into a pharmacy and asks assistant for an anal deodorant. The assistant explains th...Read the whole joke
525 Rating:0 | Voted:0
17 Waiting Room
- I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labor and the nurse wa...Read the whole joke
672 Rating:0 | Voted:0
18 Dentist
- Then there?s the woman who goes to the dentist. As he leans over to begin working on her, she grabs ...Read the whole joke
531 Rating:0 | Voted:0
19 Diseases
- The doctor took Dan into the room and said, "Dan, I have some good news and some bad news.""Oh, no. ...Read the whole joke
502 Rating:0 | Voted:0
20 Professional Courtesy?
- A doctor and his wife were sunbathing on a beach when a beautiful young blonde in a tight-fitting bi...Read the whole joke
530 Rating:0 | Voted:0
21 How to Argue the Price of a Screw
- A well known, rich business man's wife broke her hip. The business man got the best orthopedic surge...Read the whole joke
669 Rating:0 | Voted:0
22 Pete
- Pete was sitting at home one evening when the doorbell rang. He opened the door to see a 6-foot-tall...Read the whole joke
497 Rating:0 | Voted:0
23 Different Kinds of Doctors
- There are several different kinds of doctors, and it is told that they can be differentiated by the ...Read the whole joke
589 Rating:0 | Voted:0
24 College Physics
- A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pr...Read the whole joke
570 Rating:0 | Voted:0

# Title Category Hits Rating
1 Doctor, should I file my nails?
- |Patient: Doctor, should I file my nails?Doctor: No! Throw them away like everybody else....Read the whole joke
Doctor Jokes 2086 Rating:0 | Voted:0
2 I would like to havea second opinion
- |A patient has a sore throat and goes to a doctor to get treatment for it.Doctor: Your tonsils gotta...Read the whole joke
Doctor Jokes 1210 Rating:0 | Voted:0
3 I often feel guilty
- |Sheri, the pert and pretty nurse took her troubles to a resident psychiatrist in the hospital where...Read the whole joke
Doctor Jokes 1193 Rating:0 | Voted:0
4 Will this operation hurt me at all?
- |Patient (to cosmetic surgeon): Will it hurt me, doctor?Surgeon: Only when you get my bill, Mrs Brow...Read the whole joke
Doctor Jokes 1182 Rating:0 | Voted:0
5 You're in great health
- |Doctor: You're in good health. You'll live to be eighty.Patient: But, doctor, I am 80 right now.Doc...Read the whole joke
Doctor Jokes 1180 Rating:0 | Voted:0

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