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Lawyer Jokes

# Title Hits Rating
1 Actual stupid questions asked
- |The below excerpts appeared in the Salt Lake Tribune. They were taken from real court records.Now d...Read the whole joke
685 Rating:0 | Voted:0
2 Question and answer jokes
- |Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung?A: You can't get a finger between the rope and his nec...Read the whole joke
654 Rating:0 | Voted:0
3 Consultation fees
- |A lawyer's dog, running around town unleashed, heads for a butcher shop and steals a roast. The but...Read the whole joke
619 Rating:0 | Voted:0
4 How Lawyers Do It
- Lawyers do it with appeal.Lawyers do it confidentially.Lawyers do it on a trial basis.Lawyers do it ...Read the whole joke
784 Rating:0 | Voted:0
5 Brain Store
- A man went to a brain store to get some brain to complete a study. He sees a sign remarking on the q...Read the whole joke
795 Rating:0 | Voted:0
6 Lawyer, police man, doctor
- 3 dudes die a lawyer, police man, and a doctorat the pearly gates the police man walks up 2 saint pe...Read the whole joke
689 Rating:0 | Voted:0
7 Can't take it with you
- Four life-long friends, a doctor, lawyer, professor, and a businessman, belonging to the same exclus...Read the whole joke
769 Rating:0 | Voted:0
8 Lawyer's Birthday Gift
- What do you get a lawyer for his birthday?Briefs!! ha!ha!...Read the whole joke
657 Rating:0 | Voted:0
9 So cold
- It was so cold last week I saw a Lawyer with his hands in his own pockets !...Read the whole joke
814 Rating:0 | Voted:0
10 Lawyer Sky Diving
- What do you call a sky-diving club for lawyers?Skeet....Read the whole joke
701 Rating:0 | Voted:0
11 Attack Dog
- A man wanted a big, verocious dog to protect his business, so he visited a kennel that specialized i...Read the whole joke
742 Rating:0 | Voted:0
12 Catfish vs. Lawyer
- Q: What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?A: Ones a gross dirty slimy scum-sucking bot...Read the whole joke
665 Rating:0 | Voted:0
13 Cement
- Q: What do u have when their is a lawyer up to his neck in cement?A: not enough cement...Read the whole joke
657 Rating:0 | Voted:0
14 The Godfather
- The Godfather, accompanied by his attorney, walked into a room to meet with his accountant.The Godfa...Read the whole joke
638 Rating:0 | Voted:0
15 Lawyer Statue
- One day, a guy went into a store, just browsing.He suddenly saw a statue of a rat made of bronze, an...Read the whole joke
785 Rating:0 | Voted:0
16 Two lawyers walking through the woods
- Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious-looking bear. The first lawyer immediately o...Read the whole joke
624 Rating:0 | Voted:0
17 Have a Drink
- Middle of the night, middle of nowhere, two cars both slightly cross over the white line in the cent...Read the whole joke
743 Rating:0 | Voted:0
18 Lawyer Means...
- What's the definition of lawyer? The larval form of a politician....Read the whole joke
622 Rating:0 | Voted:0
19 half of everything
- Three guys are walking in an abandoned warehouse. They find a genie bottle. They decide to rub it.A ...Read the whole joke
685 Rating:0 | Voted:0
20 a thief and his lawyer
- Carlson was charged with stealing a Mercedes Benz, and after a long trial, the jury acquitted him. L...Read the whole joke
674 Rating:0 | Voted:0
21 Lawyer vs Physician
- A lawyer and a physician had a dispute over precedence.They referred it to Diogenes, who gave it in ...Read the whole joke
653 Rating:0 | Voted:0
22 billy's father is a lawyer
- A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you be first,"...Read the whole joke
705 Rating:0 | Voted:0
23 Dead lawyer's grave
- A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way t...Read the whole joke
638 Rating:0 | Voted:0
24 dying woman needs brain
- A woman diagnosed as having a brain tumor was told by her doctor that she would need the transplant ...Read the whole joke
659 Rating:0 | Voted:0
25 5000 dead lawyers
- What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?A good start!...Read the whole joke
665 Rating:0 | Voted:0
26 Lawyers and sperm
- What do a lawyer and sperm have in common?They both have a one in a million chance of being human....Read the whole joke
644 Rating:0 | Voted:0
27 Old dying lawyer
- A stingy old lawyer was on his deathbed. He instructed his wife to fill two large pillowcases with m...Read the whole joke
771 Rating:0 | Voted:0

# Title Category Hits Rating
1 Lawyers on a jury
- |A trial had been scheduled in a small town, but the court clerk had forgotten to call in a jury pan...Read the whole joke
Lawyer Jokes 1413 Rating:0 | Voted:0
2 Demise of a partner
- |One day while walking down the street a highly successful partner in a law firm was tragically hit ...Read the whole joke
Lawyer Jokes 1388 Rating:0 | Voted:0
3 Big ethical dilemma
- |Upon seeing an elderly lady for the drafting of her will, the attorney charged her $100.She gave hi...Read the whole joke
Lawyer Jokes 1384 Rating:0 | Voted:0
4 Talk to the judge
- |A judge, bored and frustrated by a lawyer's tedious arguments, had made numerous rulings to speed t...Read the whole joke
Lawyer Jokes 1360 Rating:0 | Voted:0
5 Fight to win a case
- |A junior partner in a law firm was sent to a far away country to represent a long-term client accus...Read the whole joke
Lawyer Jokes 1326 Rating:0 | Voted:0

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